The Most Depraved Place On The Planet!

the-most-depraved-place-on-the-planet

Patonggggggg babay, weeeee! Easily the sickest place on the planet, there cant be anywhere more depraved? :) Think this was my 6th visit to the degen capital of the world and it still shocks me tbh, love it! The three of us fishays started the evening off with munch and a few drinks at some Mexican gaff before walking through the mess that is Bangla Rd. Being a Patong virgin Henry’s eyeballs were literally popping out of his skull. The little fish was snapping away with his camera phone at all the whores, strippers and lady boys etc just loving his life which you’re not really meant to do tbh. However, despite a few warnings disgusting Henry wasn’t to be deterred and later on took a video of some of the ‘highlights’ of Bangla Rd. It has to be done tbf, check it…

After getting through the carnage, we went to Shooters Bar where i have been on two previous occasions to sink a few balls, drinks and smoke some Shishaaaaaa! I crushed the pair of them in three games of killer winning about 1200 Baht before donating 1.4k to Cos in two games. Henry ended up the big LOSER. Here’s a pic of me caught completely off guard with a beer and a Sheesh ;)

After Shooters we went for a drink and a perv at Suzi Wong’s which is basically a Go Go Bar where the girls wear a piece of string between their legs and spank you with these black pieces of rubber tubing, its my kinda place! I got the Cos and Hen to sit with me right next to the dance floor so as to kop a good a eye full and receive a nice spanking. Here’s a snap of me with some geezer outside Suzi’s, he wasn’t lying ;)

Once the girls had given me a good beating we moved onto to another somewhat more seedy Go Go Bar so as to give Henry his first experience of a Ping Pong/Magic Show. This one was a bit different to the show me and Cos had gone to a few weeks ago http://www.pokerencore.com/blogs/2011/11/so-whats-been-happening/ . As soon as we sat down we had about 6-7 girls swarm round us which is super standard and for the 2nd successive night out for a show in Patong i ended up with the uglier birds. Henry was sat with the hottest girl as well some bird with enorm mamongays (mbn) and Cos had some decent looking girl who seemed like she’d be prepared to do absolutely anything for a few hundo Baht (£5). I ‘had’ some young girl grinning at me with more gaps in her smile than teeth and another bird rubbing my tool with two nastay looking scars on her chops, marvo! The lady who performed most of the ‘tricks’ was the highlight for me, she’s was full of beans and being a bit of a milf man i quite fancied her tbh. She had a really good bounce and energy about her although the fact that she later popped a few live Terrapins out of her fanjita was a little off putting i guess :) Other classics tricks included the string and smoking stunts plus a couple of small white birds also appeared from places they really shouldn’t. That can’t be very hygienic i thought :)

Once the show had finished we left and took a wander down what is known as Soi Eric. We ended up sat at some bar with a bunch of really fun and kinda attractive girls playing some of the bar games like Connect 4. Me and Cos were chatting to a couple of nice girls and comfortably beating them at the game until some of the better bar girls wanted to challenge us for money. It was pretty obv the girls were trying to hustle us for money and i was too shrewd to play one of working girls but Cos being Cos wanted to challenge the grand master of Connect 4. When you play these girls at this game you either lose or at best you draw. Its pretty much the equivalent to me playing HU vrs Durrrr, and just like Dwan Costa stood no chance, GG mate.

I think that pretty much wraps up the decent night out apart from one last comedy moment when a ladyboy approaches Hen and the Welsh fish decides to be funny and ask her/him how much it would be for ‘bum bum’. The ladybody replies 1000 baht (£20) so Hendonk decides to ask for a 50% discount to which she/he snap accepted! Henry looked horrified! Haha, only in Patong babay!!!


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